Friday, October 30, 2009

I wish there was an 'easy' button...

Our family time is so limited these days. Dave and I both work full time and often see each other for less than ten minutes in the day. Only a fluke opportunity presents us with a day off together. Those days are like pudding to me.

We have a luxury of being able to provide about 98% of the care to our little one. However, for the most part, I wish we could afford some sort of child care. We make too much money for any assistance but we don't make enough to afford it on our own. And neither of us would be able to sustain our family on one income. Our choices are limited. It's struggle every day when I have to get up hours before the sun rises and then rush home in the afternoon so that Dave can rush to work. He comes home usually after I've gone to bed. When we lived closer to Dave's work, I used to walk him to his job every day so we could have ten precious minutes together as a family.

Getting anything done around the house is impossible with Thurston unless he's asleep. That time is also shared with bathing, cooking, eating, dressing, reading, typing blogs on the computer (except he's in my lap nursing right now), or any other "me" time, etc. I've recruited friends to come over and entertain the bug just so I can unpack a box of books or put away the wedding gifts (trying really hard not to think about my really late thank you notes - they are coming at some point). Dave and I don't want to sacrifice the few hours a week we have together to get things done.

There are days when I want to throw in the towel at my job, not because I dislike it (quite the opposite really) but because I hate that it takes so much from our family. I've tried to request a reduced schedule, working from home, etc and none of which is available. I sadly had to make the decision to quit school because it would be taking so much from my family to pursue. This has left me feeling very frustrated. Dave is afraid of pursuing any advancement at his job because it might make him subject to working on-call or schedule changes that we wouldn't be able to accomodate.

It just seems like Dave and I are stuck between two solid walls with little room to stretch out.

4 comments:

Desiree said...

AMEN, Girl. Although we don't have children yet, I totally understand where you're coming from. Either Eldon or I have to take a day off work to spend a significant period of time together. Otherwise, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings fly and between cooking/eating dinner, doing 2-person decision errands and getting ready for work the next day, we're both home less than 3 hours. Dare to either of us to change jobs/schedules, for fear of not being able to support ourselves. God forbid either of us go back to school, then we definitely wouldn't be able to spend a significant time together. I totally respect your decision to not return to PSU at this time. I'm sure it was a difficult decision to not pursue one of your dreams, but it seems that in this day and age, we gotta do what we gotta do!

Maureen said...

I know you of all people understand this type of schedule - children or no. I'm sure it makes it a challenge to think about starting a family as well. However much I may complain about the hectic schedule we have, it is all totally worth it and both of us would do it again in a heartbeat. It's just not easy.

Desiree said...

Precisely, you're right! it's not easy. Of course, I've gotten used to working around it. We make compromises to make it work out :)

MissAnneThrope said...

Look at me, finally able to read your blog so much later. I'm sorry to hear that you had to drop school. That must have been a very tough decision. When I get back from PA, I volunteer my babysitting services on days/nights that I don't have school or work (when I find a job, that is). I would love to spend time with the little man, and I miss you too.