Thursday, May 27, 2010

Humbled Parent

You're in a restaurant and a child is screeching his head off while mother looks unconcerned. He drops his pacifier on the floor and she gives it merely a wipe-down before popping it into his mouth to shut him up. You lean over and whisper to your friend/date/spouse/other, "gosh, look at that terrible, no good, very bad mother! I would never do that if that was my child!"

Hahaha! Just wait until you eat your words. You'll do it all and not bat an eye.

Things I do that I swore I would never do as a mother:

1. Talk in third person, referring to myself as "mama". It gets worse...I do this when I'm not even around Thurston.

2. Let my child scream in public.

3. Feed crackers to my child to shut him up. Obviously, I'm going to be the perfect mother and find ways of entertaining my child while shopping, riding public transit, dining, etc. without resorting to feeding him salty, processed crackers. Right. Like that's going to happen. I tried the low-salt, plain boring crackers. He just throws those on the floor. He knows what the good stuff is.

4. Let my child eat food that has fallen on the floor.

5. Be that person in a crowded place with a large stroller.

6. Eat food my child has slobbered all over.

Yes, I am that person.


Oh Amy said...

Everytime Aria eats something off of the floor, I view it as a vaccination of sorts.

Maureen said...

Hah! Yeah, I figure as long as it's organically derived (ie plant matter), we're ok!